We all have this ooey-gooey feeling, this image of love. I know I did. I think of love and I conjure visions of flowers and roses and rainbows and sunshine and feel-good feelings. And that is love. But like life, love is not one-sided; it’s a multifaceted diamond with brilliant colors and sharp edges.
I love running. I developed my love for running in 2012 as part of my weight loss regiment. Prior to that, I had never run or walked a mile anywhere, at least not on purpose. But I found a group of ladies who were in a similar journey and so began, or was born, my love for running.
It has not always been easy. I have had slips, falls, sprains, wardrobe malfunctions, mishaps – you name it. But through it all, I have remained true to my love for the pavement.
Yet my love has stagnated over the past couple of years. I have been neglectful. The number of races I have run and the subsequent medals I have earned has dwindled greatly. I have been haphazard and half-hearted in my love. Yet every time I lace them up, the pavement is there, welcoming me. It never turns its back on me. Hell it’s even there to catch me when I fall. (Insert maniacal laughter).
Lately the pavement and I have been experiencing a rebirth of sorts. But like long-lost lovers, our reunion has been a bit shaky to say the least. In fact, our relationship has made me question if I still love the pavement, and if it still loves me back. But like a faithful suitor, I continue to lace them up. And my results have been a roller coaster: there have been days that I say to myself, “I’m back!” And then there are the days that I want to just throw my shoes in the trash.
How does all this apply to love, you say? I was hoping you made it this far to ask.
As I said in the beginning, love is multifaceted, like people. And just as you have to love people for all of their facets, so it is with running. Love ain’t always roses. Sometimes it’s greatness, sometimes its absence. Sometimes it’s rough. And sometimes it flat out knocks you on your ass. Loving something doesn’t mean that it’s always going to be easy, but it means that you’re committed enough to withstand all the phases. (Don’t you love life despite the contrast and dark days?) Sometimes the things you love? Ain’t gonna love you back. But that shouldn’t change your love. Anything that changes you controls you. You should always be in control of your love. It’s the only true control that you ever need to practice and exercise, and ironically, it is the toughest. Practice self love as devoutly and diligently and ceaselessly as you would pursue a lover. Expand your horizon and images of love. Love can be a song, a dance, or a smack on the ass. Energy transformed, reformed, renewed, ever flowing but always, always, love.
notesinthekeyofelle 